Thursday, May 27, 2010

Wee Alien - Part Eight: Marooned

©Karen A J Rinehart

"Stay out of the caves, if you know what's good for you!", mocks Eedyar as he pulls a device from his pocket and looks it over. He knew he had promised Queen Terrensya that he wouldn't use it but that was before the Lalas took Nerak. After all, he'd been using it ever since the King and Queen had made him Nerak's bodyguard. He places the device back into his pocket and looks around for a place to sleep.

Heading to the Ikit Rab, Lednew says aloud, "He fell for that story, kooh,enil, and reknis. I couldn't stop them.", he laughs. Lednew notices that a bright pink light has appeared. Unlike anything he's ever seen before. Not able to stop himself, Lednew reaches out for it. He suddenly finds himself falling. Just before he hits the ground, he finds himself saying aloud, "I must keep my thoughts to myself." As the bright pink light ascends, a voice is heard saying, "Queen Terrensya knows all. Sees all." Lednew enters the Ikit Rab and bids Lala Land goodnight.

Wals and Nerak decide to sleep inside the ship. "Sire, we will be much safer in here tonight.", says Wals. Too tired to argue the point, Nerak agrees. Wals snuggles down in Nerak's pocket, while Nerak makes his way to the nearest seat on the Adnerb. Looking out the window, Nerak wonders where Eedyar is and hoping he hasn't gotten himself lost.

Word has come from Count Leoj and it isn't good. The Adnerb that was carrying Nerak and Eedyar has crashed on an unknown planet in the Ynoga system. Queen Terrensya is in tears as Eyak, Ygg and King Ahtrab try to comfort her. "Nerak! ", cries the Queen. "You must find my son. I can not lose another." King Ahtrab assures the Queen that she will not lose Nerak.

Still stumbling around in the dark, Eedyar spots a cave. Entering the cave he looks around for a place to sleep. "Wals must be wrong about these caves. They are harmless.", says Eedyar as he kicks a nearby rock to make sure it isn't alive. Soon after he sits down he falls asleep.

Wals scampers from Nerak's pocket with his tail brushing the tip of Nerak's nose. "What the...", says Nerak half asleep. "Wakey! Wakey! It's morning.", greets Wals.
"Morning? How can you tell? It's still dark out.", says Nerak.
"What's for breakfast?, asks Wals. Ignoring Wals, Nerak walks out the door of the Adnerb to greet the day. "Day?", thinks Nerak.

Awaking in the Ikit Rab, Lednew thinks to himself, "What an odd dream?" Dreaming of pink lights and Queen Terrensya was an odd mix. Walking outside, Lednew is met by Nelag, secretary to the count. "Count Leoj wishes your presence, sir.", states Nelag. "What is it this time?", barks Lednew.
Cowering, Nelag states, "I do not know sir. I was asked to locate you and give you the message."
"So! You've given me the message. Be gone with you.", barks Lednew. "I am afraid that I must know the approximate time of your arrival before the Count.", says Nelag. "I will be there when he see's me.", barks Lednew as he kicks Nelag out of his way. "I hate Wee Aliens!", states Lednew.

Awakened by a pain in his big toe, Eedyar looks down to see what it is. In the darkness he's not quite sure what it is that he sees. Grabbing it, he throws it against the wall of the cave. Running from the cave, Eedyar realizes that he's being chased by someone or something. A whole lot of someone or something.

Friday, May 21, 2010

My Miniature Farm

*July 1, 2009 ©Karen A J Rinehart*

My husband and I are always dreaming of owning a farm someday. We were on
our way to Garden City one weekend, when he started talking about it. I had
told him that I'd heard that a certain parcel of land in eastern Kansas was
selling for $350 an acre and that 100 acres would cost $35,000. He told me,
there would be the cost of the land, cattle, house, fencing, etc. I told
him not to forget the horses. We'd always wanted horses so we could go
rinding. I came up with a solution to our problems. Of course he thought I
needed to be in the State Mental Hospital.

All I told him was, to buy miniature acres. That way it would cost $3.50 an
acre instead of $350. I continued by telling him, he would have to then buy
miniature cattle to put on the miniature acres. After much complaining and
picking on me about my losing my mind, I told him that the horses would have
to be miniature and we would have to have miniature cowboys, farm house,
barn, corrals and packing houses to put on the miniature acres that we were
purchasing.

After continuing to inform me that I was insane, I told him I was going to
the miniature farm and get the miniature shot gun from the closet and
proceed to shoot him in the leg. He told me that he wouldn't feel anything
because being shot with a miniature shotgun would feel like a bee sting.
Turning to look at him, I calmly said, "No, it won't feel like a bee sting
because you will be miniature too. Besides, I have to have a miniature
safety director for my miniature packing plant and you are the only one I
know."
All of this came about from my boredom on our trip and the fact that we
wanted a farm. I just reminded him that I wasn't insane. Just because I
saw little Indians atop the hills on I-70 between Hays and Topeka did not
mean I was insane. I rest my case.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Wee Alien - Part Seven: On Planet Ostun

©Karen A J Rinehart

Count Leoj is relieved that Lednew is on his way to Planet Wee and that Nerak will arrive unharmed. He was quite content knowing when Lednew returned, that Nerak would be back on Planet Wee and he'd have his head tomorrow. Dealing with Queen Terrensya was certainly not to his liking.

Bursting through the door, Lednew entered shouting, "I couldn't stop them. They stole the Adnerb and left for Planet Wee." Turning around to face Lednew, Count Leoj responded nervously, "Who is piloting the ship?"
"No one. I set the controls for the ready and quickly went to get some spam. When I returned, the Adnerb was gone.", stated Lednew.
"Stop shouting, Lednew. We will figure this out. We have to figure this out.", said the Count scratching his head in thought.

Noticing the planet is becoming larger in the viewer, Wals starts running around on the console flipping switches, pushing buttons, turning knobs and dials. Eedyar sees what he is doing and goes over to the console and flicks him off with his finger. "What are you doing? Have you gone daft? You are going to make us crash faster." Just as fast as Wals exited the console, he returns saying, "I saw this at the amenic one time. Really, Sire, you must put Eedyar on a leash. He's out of control."

Nerak sits in the pilots seat and tells Eedyar, "I am quite certain that we are going to crash. So, let Wals have his fun. What can it hurt?"
"But...", says Eedyar as Nerak interrupts. "Wals said he knew how to fly the Adnerb, so maybe he's flying it."
"Yeah, right!", says Eedyar disgusted.

Suddenly the ship comes to an abrupt stop just a few feet above the planet, tossing Nerak and Eedyar to the deck of the ship. Wals turns to Eedyar and says, "Ptttthhhhtttt!" Eedyar looks at Nerak, then grabs at Wals and says, "Time for a Srats snack!" Wals runs and jumps into Nerak's pocket and settles down while he pulls his treasure from his pouch for a look. With a confident smirk, he places it back in his pouch sure that no one in Lala Land knows that he has it.

With the Adnerb now hovering just inches above the planet, Eedyar reaches over and shuts the power off. The engines are winding down as they are leaving the ship. Nerak and Eedyar are few feet from the ship when Wals says, "Sire, I have it. This is Planet Ostun. Wees lived here many tricons ago. Just then the ship drops to the ground with a loud thud. "Way to go jolgoat.", says Wals to Eedyar who continues walking and ignoring the Srats. Wals continues, "After the Lalas came so did the rebellion. The Wees and Lalas fought over this planet for 20,000 tricons. Eventually, the Wees moved to another planet but always stayed in the Ihtur system.

The Lalas made a planet, in the Ynoga system, their base planet. It is said that a Wee Alien lives among the Lalas. Why?, asked Nerak.
"Sire, legend has it that the Lalas have two ancient statues that belong to the Wee Aliens. The statues are very important.", stated Wals. "It is further said that the Lalas kidnapped the King and Queen's newborn son and are raising him in Lala land.
"That is a bunch of hooey booey. How do you know so much about Wee history?", says Eedyar. While turning to walk away, he falls over something in the ground. "Sugaration!", shouts Eedyar. "Blasted planet! Dark, cold and now I'm tripping over Dog knows what!", he mumbles.
"Eedyar, you okay?", a concerned Nerak asks.
"I'm finding a place to sleep far away from that Srats.", states Eedyar.
"You'll stay out of the caves, if you know what's good for you!", Wals shouts as Eedyar disappears into the dark.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Wee Alien - Part Six: To Crash or Not to Crash

©Karen A J Rinehart

Standing before the statue of the ancient Gods, Zeus and Thor, Queen Terrensya asks them to bring Nerak and the golden evird home to Planet Wee safely. King Ahtrab walks up and stands before the Queen.
"Count Leoj sent word that Nerak and Eedyar have boarded the adnerb and will be leaving shortly.", says the King trying to console her.
"If the Count knows what is best for him, Nerak will arrive yadot.", states the Queen.
"Otherwise, he shall lose his head.", she says, as King Ahtrab thinks the exact words.
"I want my golden evird.", she states.

Ruthi is making some adjustments to the program she's working on for Nerak. She notices that there is something odd with the research she has done on the ancient statues on Planet Wee. Noticing that there is a hole in Zeus' right paw, she zooms in on the photo to take a closer look. Suddenly she realizes she has seen a similar hole like this before on the statue of Thor. "What could it be?", she wonders aloud, as she continues to search the computer for any new information on Zeus and Thor.

Since the search is taking awhile, she decides to step away for a cup of coffee. Just as she leaves, the computer screen comes alive and shows a photo of Zeus, Thor and two unknown statues. Not much information comes up on the screen about the two unknowns. Except, they are the same shape as the Gods, only smaller in size.

The sunflower, that brings light to Planet Wee begins to close on yet another day. Queen Terrensya stands on the balcony of the Ecalap and watches, in sadness, as the petals close, turning it into a bud once again. With a sigh, she turns to see King Ahtrab sneaking past the door.
"Where do you think you are going?", she demands.
"Nowhere.", replies the King.
"Any news from Count Leoj?", she asks.
"No, I haven't any news.", he says.
She picks up Taranis, her oosh, and heads off to the sleeping room. As she passes the King she says, "Count Leoj is going to be upset when he loses his head."
"I know.", shudders the King, as he watches the fireflies come together to form the moon.

The adnerb that Eedyar, Nerak and Wals is on continues to spin out of control. Eedyar tries desperately to find out their location. Nerak tells Eedyar, "I've never seen this planet on any of the spam before. Nodding in agreement, Eedyar looks at Wals in disgust. Knowing that the Srats could do something about the ship and isn't doing anything really makes him uneasy. Wals is looking over the spam and tells Eedyar and Nerak, "This looks familiar. Sire, this is a very old planet." Nerak and Eedyar brace themselves for impact on the planet below while Wals runs for the console.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Wee Alien - Part Five: Nerak Leaves for Planet Wee

©Karen A J Rinehart

Coming out of his trance, after finding out that the Srats could talk, Eedyar hands Wals to Nerak who reluctantly takes him. Placing Wals into his pocket, Nerak asks Eedyar, "Where do you think the golden evird is?" Eedyar just shrugs his shoulders.

Nerak and Eedyar are contemplating escaping Lala Land when Eedyar asks, "Have you ever flown a Adnerb before, Nerak?"
"No, I haven't." replied Nerak.
"I know how to fly an Adnerb!", came the muffled voice of Wals.
"Be quiet!", said Eedyar.
"Sure! Don't listen to the only one with brains in the group.", replied Wals.

Bursting through the door came Lednew. "Get yourselves to the ship at once.", bellowed Lednew. "Count Leoj wants you on the next ship to Planet Wee." As fast as Lednew arrived, he left to ready the ship for their journey to Planet Wee.

All the way to the ship, Wals kept asking, "Are you taking Wals with you to Planet Wee?" After hearing this five times, Eedyar told Nerak, "I should have stopped and picked us up a plate of Srats for our journey. Oh, I don't have to. You have a Srats in your pocket. Wals didn't say another word the rest of the way to the ship.

Eedyar wondered why Lednew was taking them back to Planet Wee. Queen Terrensya must have said something to Count Leoj about Nerak or perhaps the Count had seen him in Lala Land. He knew that the Count didn't want Nerak in Lala Land.

Nerak was looking at his hands and asked, "How am I ever going to get this purple off my hands?" Eedyar laughed and said, "Remove the Srats..."
"Wals.", stated Wals.
"Remove Wals from you pocket, hold him by the ears, upside down and tickle him."
Nerak does as he's told. Wals begins to leak profusely from his mouth. Nerak gets it on his hands.
"E....yuk! I have Srats spit on my hands.", says Nerak.
Looking at Nerak, Wals replies, "Sire, you may have Srats spit on your hands but they are no longer purple."

Laughing at Wals, they notice that the ship is shaking vigorously. Nerak asks, "What's happening?" Eedyar walks to the bridge only to find that Lednew isn't there. Searching the ship, Eedyar comes to the relization that they are the only ones on the ship. As the ship continues to spin out of control, Eedyar goes back to Nerak and Wals.
"Okay, you little runt of a Srats! You said you could fly this thing and now is your chance.", says Eedyar.
"I said I knew how to fly one, not that I could.", cried Wals. "We are going to die! I only wanted to get off of Lala Land."
Nerak told Eedyar and Wals that their only chance was for them to try and fly the Adnerb to Planet Wee. As they headed for the bridge, the ship began to lose altitude. They were crashing on the planet below and it wasn't Planet Wee.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

How to Make a Paragod

©Karen A J Rinehart

First, you need an EMT with attitude,
who is an egomaniac, able to ignore
patients and argue with doctors. Add a
dash of laziness, a spoonful of I-know-it-all,
and paramedic classes.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Lost

©Karen A J Rinehart

My husband and I went to Kansas City in April 2010. We both had classes we were scheduled to attend. After arriving and putting our bags in the room, he decided he was hungry. I was tired and asked him if he'd be able to find the restaurant by himself. He said, "I think so." Armed with the GPS, I had programmed for him, he set out in search of the restaurant.

A short time later, my cell phone rang. He asked me if the GPS went in reverse and I told him yes. I told him the button to push to set it to come back. Within 10 minutes, my husband, that has no use for electronic gadgets of any kind, calls me again. "This thing isn't working.", he said. I told him to push the button for my addresses and he said, "It's not showing what you said it would." I told him to shut the GPS off and tell me the name of the street he was on. I got on the computer and called Mapquest up, typed in the name of the street, then asked him, "What hundred block are you in?" He told me the address and I typed it into the computer. Mapquest showed that he was 45 minutes from me and he was only supposed to be 15 minutes away.

I told him to find a building with an address, pull over and give me the exact hundred block and exact name of the street he was on or I couldn't get him back to the room. He found a building and gave me the information. I told him which way to turn. He turned and wound up going the opposite direction I had told him to. Realizing he wasn't seeing any of the cross streets I was telling him, he decided to turn around. Frustrated, he headed the right direction and got back to the motel. Poor guy gets turned around in a big city so easily.

During dinner he told me, "I'm not going by myself again. You are coming with me." I responded, "Ok. Isn't it a good thing computers and cell phones were invented or you wouldn't be here now. (Men never stop and ask directions. At least my husband doesn't. Must be a man thing.)